What do you obsess over

Chapman, overthinking is actually a way of solving a problem for some people. In other words, if you have an uncertain situation going on in your life and can't do anything else about it, you think through all of the possible outcomes so that you can try to prepare yourself for the worst, even if there's nothing you can do and worrying is useless.

It may seem counter-productive, but for some of us, thinking things over can make them seem less stressful. Chapman says. Sure, poring over every single detail about something in your mind might give you some temporary relief, but as you can imagine, it can backfire because it could make you even more anxious over possibly bad outcomes.

If that's what you tend to do, Dr. Chapman says it could be helpful to ask yourself one big question about whatever it is you're obsessing over: "What evidence is there that something negative will come out of this? If, say, you made a mistake at work, you might overthink what could happen: You could get fired, fall behind on rent, be evicted, and become homeless. Sure, that might sound like you're going overboard, but Dr. Chapman says confronting the worst-case scenario might help you process how you feel about the situation and prepare you for the worst-case scenario if it actually happens.

As an alternative thought, maybe you also consider the best case scenario, where your boss understands your mistake and helps you work through it instead of firing you.

If you realize that you're obsessing about something that can't be changed, simply that recognition may stop you from agonizing over it now. Remind yourself that what's done is done, and let yourself off the hook, says Meier. Anxious thoughts can come on unexpectedly. Take a deep breath, pause and think about whether anything is truly urgent, Dr.

Winsberg advises. Choosing to avoid impulse reactions to anxious thoughts can allow you to notice the feeling first " Oh, I'm feeling anxious " which keeps you from ruminating. Eventually, you'll be able to recognize the feeling and just sit with it, without acting on it. Let's say you're meeting for a job interview. Overthinking might be a way to try and feel like you have control over it — for you to recite all the possible answers to any question that may arise, which you may feel will be better for your chances.

Of course, total control is impossible to have in situations like these, explains Kruti Patel, Ph. Rather than focus on what you don't have total control over, take stock of what you are already in control of.

Prepare answers to the basics and then think of two or three things you want them to know about you, no matter what is asked. Asking a friend or a family member for affirmation or validation about how something was perceived is okay if it'll save you from hours of self-torture. Then you can let it go. If you're super-anxious, the tactics above may not be able to keep you from overthinking, and you may need to talk to someone to get personalized help. If your tendency to overthink ends up being tied to clinical anxiety or depression disorders, you'll likely need additional support to overcome this habit , or even medication in treatment.

This is especially true if you have been trying for more than six months to keep emotional distress and obsessive thoughts at bay. To be clear: Overthinking things doesn't mean you are necessarily experiencing a mental illness, but you may still benefit from talking to someone. It's crucial to do so if you're avoiding entire social interactions because you'll know you're over-analyze them , or if you're unable to stop yourself from replaying events in your mind almost every day.

It's also a chance to receive personalized tools that are unique to you," Patel says. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your healthcare provider or immediately.

For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, call TALK to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time. Product Reviews. Home Ideas. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. You can use it as a guide to assess which type of relationship you currently have or have had before.

Want to build a new habit that will stick for the rest of your lifetime? In this video, you will discover a simple 9-step process about building habits that you can immediately implement. If you're wondering if your strong feelings toward this guy or girl is not healthy, then it's important to know if you're displaying symptoms of obsessive love.

Here are 9 common signs:. Someone who suffers from obsessive love usually wants to spend an excessive amount of time with the other person , to the point that they are always thinking about them and behaving in ways that put them in touch with the other person.

Because people who love obsessively spend so much time thinking about the object of their affection, they don't give enough attention to their friends, family, or career to maintain a high quality of life. They may limit their engagement in recreational activities or other relationships, even to the point of being unable to function in a normal manner.

Falling in love is the most vulnerable thing we do as humans. Falling in love means opening up to the possibility of being left or rejected. If you don't feel worthy of that love, you will feel insecure in your relationship, constantly believing that you will get hurt.

Now, if you're struggling with feelings of unworthiness, then take a few minutes to read these 13 strategies on loving yourself more. If you have obsessive love disorder, you don't want to imagine the thought of this other person even considering being with anyone besides you. You also don't want other people seeing this person as a possible object of affection because you believe they belong to you and only you.

This may lead to jealous outbursts toward strangers or even friends who interact with the object of your obsession. It can also lead to making inaccurate assumptions about an interaction between this person and someone else that ends in possible embarrassment for overreacting. And if you feel like jealousy is holding you back as a person, here are 10 strategies that can help you stop being a jealous person.

You claim to want to protect the person from others who may harm them, but you are really just isolating them from the rest of the world. You may try to limit the number of people they hang out with, convincing this person that their friends and family are toxic. This is a factor of the feelings of possession that you have over this person.

You don't want anyone to think that this person is available or get the idea that they like someone else as more than a friend. Also, you don't want the object of your obsession to find someone they think they will like better than you. If the other person walks out on you during a fight, hangs up on you, or rejects you in any other way, you may have a very strong reaction. Any hint of rejection that you get from this person sends you into a panic , thinking that you might lose them forever.

You have an inability to accept failure or rejection. Not only do you need to check up on this person during the day, you also want to constantly be on their mind. Interacting through texts and phone calls allows you to know where they are at all times during the day and make sure that they are paying attention to you.

If you text or call and don't hear back for a while, you probably get extremely upset and frustrated, and end up coming to the worst conclusions, thinking that they are with another person or doing something behind your back. You give up time that you would otherwise spend with your friends and family to be with this other person. You make them a priority over everything else, and you never want to suggest that you are unavailable to be by their side.

Holiday dinners at your parents' house might be cut short and nights out with your friends may become few and far between as you spend all of your time with this one person. Any and everything this person does is perfect to you. And everything you do for them has to be perfect as well.

You may have an article of their clothing in your home that you always sleep with or a picture by your bed that you often stare at until you fall asleep. Why do people experience these symptoms? And how do people get to this point of obsession where their world is revolving around someone else so much? Let's look at a few reasons why this could be happening. Thus far, a specific cause of obsessive love has not yet been identified.

However, it is usually present in some mental disorders, such as in borderline personality disorder BPD. It can also be present in people diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorders OCD. People with BPD and OCD have underlying symptoms of obsession, and love is certainly not the only place where this symptom can manifest itself. However, it is one area of a person's life that other people can easily notice, especially the object of the affection.

In this minute video, clinical psychologist Steven Phillipson defines what relationship obsessive compulsive disorder ROCD is , describes the symptoms of ROCD, and gives suggestions for the treatment of the disorder. This subset of OCD causes sufferers to be consumed with doubts regarding their relationships. They question their love and attraction for their partners, their compatibility with their partners, and how much their partners love them.

While it is normal to have doubts or concerns about your partner, people suffering from ROCD have irrational thoughts that are unfounded and detrimental to their lives. If your obsession over someone is causing havoc in your life, here are some tried-and-true ways to stop the unhealthy attraction.

Consciously putting a spotlight on their shortcomings can help you get over the obsession. Look at everything this person does that you don't like or wouldn't prefer in a partner.